Like Taking Candy From...

...7th Graders

When I introduce myself and my profession to others who had, shall we say, a less than stellar experience in their own schooling, they frequently claim that teachers get in the business because they enjoy power, like bossing kids around, need attention or simply can't do anything else. I get awful defensive at this point in the conversation, and I blather on about the virtues of teachers with whom I have had the pleasure to work.

And then there are days like today where I manage to prove at least part of their theory correct.

As my students were finishing an opening activity, I reached into my pocket and pulled out my cell phone, crinkled my eyebrows, extended the antenae and answered the phone. As I paced towards the door, showing the class my back, I began mimicking a conversation. My students had just finished a quiet writing exercise, so my voice was one of the only sounds in the room.

"Hello? Hey, what's up?"

I took a few steps toward my desk, head down, holding the phone in my left hand and pressing my finger in my opposite ear with the other.

"Really? Did you call in?"

Nervous pacing near my desk. I hear various students shush each other. I imagine a hand reaching across to grab a neighboring elbow, demanding the owner's attention. I don't look at them, though. I'm concentrating on the phone call.

"What did they say? Did they say to come in?"

A wry smile forms. I can't tell if I'm starting to laugh at their reaction or if I'm feeling the rush of what this play represents for me.

"Um...OK. Is MaryAnn going to take you in?"

Mary Ann is Judy's colleague and friend, but the students don't know that. They probably aren't completely sure what I'm doing. Then again, some of the girls begin to mutter as if they just saw a darling little puppy.

"Alright. Should I go home to pick up the bag, or should I just go straight to the hospital?"

I barely finish the word "Hospital" before my students begin to cheer. Some of the girls stand up and clap in a kind of ovation, some of the guys raise their arms and throw them forward, uttering phrases like, "No way!" "Are you serios?" Repeat.

"I'm leaving now. I love you. Bye."

When the phone snapped shut, I was greeted like a Titan, like I just hit a homerun in game 7 of the World Series. For a moment I paused, wondering if I had done the right thing. Then again, I have never walked out of a classroom to a standing ovation and I probably never will again.

Maybe that's why I decided to make curtain calls in all of my classes.

My Pre-AP students were so receptive, I decided to do an encore. With a few minor twists of occurance, the smartest students in school bellowed their support for my act. They were all mine...twice, in the same class period.

While I receive no joy from being boss, I do enjoy the power and attention I receive for practicing a craft I was unable to do professionally.